I didn't think twice about scheduling a second opinion about my surgery. In fact, I had the second opinion scheduled the morning after I found out that I needed surgery. Why would I NOT get a second opinion? I had a lot of support about it too. Some said "I'm sure you can trust your doctor and she knows what is best" and most agreed that they too, would seek a second opinion. My mind was in overdrive and I did not want to get "google brain." I've been down that road before... you know exactly what I'm talking about too, googling every symptom, every pain, and before you know it, you've diagnosed yourself with a third world country disease that only happens 1% of the time. Okay, maybe an exaggeration, but you know what I'm talking about. I needed to think clearly. I needed to know my options.
A few days later I had to call Joanna back. My work had been asking when I might be going out, we had to plan a training schedule, disability.. all that stuff. Since my doctor was in Grenada, I was simply waiting for a call to get this surgery scheduled. I was going to move forward with scheduling the laparotomy because I simply didn't know what the second opinion would bring. Joanna "kindly" informed me that the doctor could do the surgery on Tuesday March 6th in Lockport. I "kindly" informed her that did not want surgery in Lockport, that the doctor had offered up a different facility but advised me it may take a bit longer to get in there. I was willing to wait a few weeks in order to be at the facility that I was most comfortable with. I AM the patient. She was agreeable and said she would call me back. Not 15 minutes later I received a phone call informing me that she could not provide the surgery at the facility of my choice and it was March 6th. No. NO NO NO!! You do not have the right to just tell me when and where I AM getting sliced open. She was shocked, she was offended, she was rude. I informed Joanna that I would wait until my doctor got home from her trip, and discuss it then. I got a little teary standing in the hallway at my work. Really? Why was this so difficult? Did I want her performing a surgery where she didn't want to be? Did I want her in an environment that SHE was not comfortable? After all, she was doing the cutting. I was not mad at my doctor, I was mad at her staff for the insensitivity. I was confused about what to do, was her comfort, or my comfort more important? I was saddened. I felt this falling apart before it even started.
All I could do was be thankful that I had scheduled a second opinion. As soon as the doctor walked in, I knew I loved her. I felt this twinge of guilt. I loved my current doctor. Shit. What was I doing? I should just trust my doctor. She knows me, she knows my issues, she's been seeing me forever, how dare I cheat on her? The new doctor was so sweet, so warming... she asked me what was going on. I had verbal diarrhea, I spouted out everything that was happening over the past year, down to the exact size of my grapefruits. She looked at me and said "You are an amazing historian." She then picked up my medical records and said "You know Amanda, I wasn't sure you were correct when you gave me the centimeters of your ovaries, but you were very correct, wow.. no wonder why you are experiencing pain." I let out a big SIGH of relief. Good, she doesn't think I'm crazy. She went on to explain that the most common practice is to provide a laparoscopic approach to this type of surgery. She practiced at the facility of MY choice. They make 3 small incisions and insert lighted scopes. They pump my abdomen with CO2 to provide ample space to work. The surgery will last 2ish hours and I would be able to go home the same day. I should only be out of work 2 to 3 weeks. My mind was spinning. I point blank asked her why my other doctor would want to perform a laparotomy, with such high risk? She said she honestly didn't know, that perhaps it was just what she was comfortable with. She explained that I may have the option to have a robotic laparoscopy in which she would control the robot, but the robot would actually do the surgery. (what?) I sat there almost an hour and a half, woman to woman, getting a full on explanation about my situation and my surgery. It was the first time I was told I had endometriosis. It was the first time I could breathe. It was the first time I could see past surgery, my summer, returning to work, returning to a normal life. I decided at that very moment, that her healing hands would be performing my surgery. Before she left the room I hugged her with tears in my eyes thanking her for her time. She advised me she wanted to discuss my case with her husband (he too, a gynecologist) and together they would decide if I was a candidate for robotic or normal laparoscopic surgery. Double the expertise? Sweet deal. I was again, waiting for a call from the surgery scheduler.
Two days later I get a call from Joanna (old doc's scheduler), while I'm walking around Walmart with my mom.
"Hi Amanda, sorry it's so late. This is going to sound weird, but can you go see Dr. So and So tomorrow? The doctor wants you to see him for a consult for a robotic surgery. Your appointment is at 2"
Crickets.
"Joanna...I... I had to get a second opinion, and the last time we spoke you seemed unwilling to work with me. The last time we spoke I was being cut open for a major surgery. The last time we spoke I could not choose where I wanted the surgery. I saw a new doctor for a second opinion and I have decided to stay with this doctor."
Crickets.
"So.. are you saying you want me to take you off the surgery schedule?"
"Yes, Please"
"Okay." Click.
!!!!!!!! You're going to call me on a 2 minute phone call and tell me I am now having robotic surgery with a different doctor and play it off like it's no big deal?
I was so flustered, so thrown off. What changed? Why now? Ugh. That totally sucked. Do I call the doctor tomorrow and explain myself? No, she should be calling me. Surely she will call me to ask what had changed and why was I not getting surgery? Yes, she will definitely call me.
Two weeks later, much to my surprise, I answered my phone to the sweet voice of my new doctor. She informed me that she and her husband had completed a review of my records and they feel a normal laparoscopic surgery would suit me best. They were both going to be my surgeons. (double the expertise, double the cost!) She had also done her homework about the "other" hospital that I could have potentially been. That hospital simply just did not have the tools and equipment to provide the surgery. Wow... that's all I can say. I would have opted for a more risky surgery simply because that hospital did not have the most up to date equipment? I know this may come off as bashing my old doctor, but I cannot understand why she would not want the best, least invasive procedure for me. Insurance? Comfort? Familiarity? Whatever it was, I was happy with my new plan. I'm sure she will explain herself when we talk. My surgery has been scheduled with my new doctor(s) for March 17th at 1 pm, laparoscopically, at the hospital of my choice. I feel relieved, I feel like I can move forward.
I have not heard from my old doctor. I also, have not contacted her either. I feel a little guilty still, a little sad I haven't gotten a chance to explain myself to her. About a week has passed and the need for closure has also subsided. I am my only advocate. (and hubby, and family and friends..) but only I can make these decisions. So in the end, breaking up, wasn't that hard to do. I know that I have made the right choice.
A few things about a second opinion:
-Get One!
-BE PREPARED!!
-Get all of your own medical records. This means countless calls for your own information. Stay on top of them, because the first few times you request your information, you won't get it.
-Do your homework. Is your surgeon a specialist for what you have been diagnosed for? Is your surgeon board certified? Is your surgeon a member of the A.M.A?
-Get facts. How many of these surgeries have they performed? What is their success rate? I'd rather have someone that does this twice a month, rather than twice a year.
-Talk about this with your family and close friends. I COULD NOT have done this without their support.
-Look up words you don't understand. Ask when something doesn't make sense.
-Breathe. Take breaks. Don't overload. (ha)
-Call your insurance company yourself to get your benefit coverage and deductible/co insurance information.
-When you've done all of the above, do it again.
-I will help be your advocate; friend, family or stranger, I am here to help you.
For those of you that personally you know me, you know that I may have gone a little beyond what another may do. I went so far as to ask what type of surgical instruments would be used on me. But like I previously eluded, i NEED to KNOW these types of things, so there are no surprises. I am positive, I am excited to be pain free ( SO EXCITED) I am also realistic. Complications can happen and I do not want to be heartbroken if I wake up with a 5 inch incision and one ovary short of a pair. To some I may be crazy, overboard, paranoid. Ya know what ? I don't really care :)
Thank you for reading!
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